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How To Deal With Toxic Clients

What do you do with a client who doesn't respect you, won't acknowledge your e-mails, treats you like dirt and then refuses to discuss their issues with you?

You could of course get a gun out and shoot them [not recommended], and that might be going just a little too far (even though you might feel that's the only solution when you've just taken another ear bashing or are reeling from the latest e-mail bombardment). 

Occasionally the person in a key decision-making role or at the helm of an organisation, sometimes forgets how important their behaviour is.  It is like they are immune and can do exactly what they like - leaving a trail of destruction and low morale in their wake. 

Take the recent case of the Police Commander, who was recently given a 4 year prison term for framing an innocent man over a personal dispute about money.  He used his position to bully and intimidate others, and in so doing turned himself into a 'Criminal In Uniform'.

I find it strange that some highly intelligent people in positions of responsibility could be completely inept at dealing with other people, despite their credentials. 

It's the 'my way or the highway' brigade; e.g. the senior manager who never sends an e-mail in their own name so that can't be held responsible for any of their own decisions, the boss who's fixated with digging up the shortcomings of their colleagues in an attempt to divert attention away from their own. 

The key decision-maker unable to discuss any issues with their suppliers in a civilised manner, leading to a complete breakdown of communication. 

Meanwhile their colleagues and clients spend their time avoiding them, complying or ending up on long term sick leave because they feel powerless to do anything about it.  Occasionally these problems arise because the person in charge has a personality profile which doesn't make them the best person to handle staff issues or talk to suppliers for example - and should never have been given the responsibility of managing others.

I've worked alongside more than one person who were technically brilliant but were hopeless at their handling staff - but they were the last person to realise this.  It took a staff crisis of mammoth proportions for the issue to be faced head on. 

But what if you're a supplier or business which is stuck with a toxic client who's on a power trip and feels the need to assert themselves and in so doing is using you as a punch bag?

· Firstly, even if it goes against the grain of "providing 100% customer satisfaction" make it your chief aim in life from now on, to get rid of them as a client.  The energy expanded in keeping them sweet just isn't worth it.  It will wear you down and destroy your enthusiasm and confidence.

· Resolve not to get drawn into any petty mind games or fights.  Talk adult to adult and don't fall for the parent/teacher control drama - some individuals relish humilating others - don't give an inch if you suspect that this is their game. 

· Remember, the only person you have any control over - is yourself.  Trying to appease or cater to the giant ego screaming down the phone will only make them grow stronger.  Focus on yourself and your response and what you value. If you know you're doing a great job - keep reminding them of that. Stick to the facts as you find them.  If you start to make allowances in the beginning - what next?

· If a client is unable to express their concerns in an adult way - it's their problem.  You don't need those kind of clients because their toxic influence will eat away at you.

· Learn from the experience, i.e. the next time take time to explain to your clients what your terms of service are - e.g. incorporate regular reviews or face to face meetings.  Explain that you are in the business of building long term relationships and you encourage and expect your clients to be up front and honest about any issues.  You are not a mind reader and are always there to help when problems are brought to your attention early enough.

· Follow your gut instinct.  If something doesn't feel right about a client in the beginning - or they demonstrate bad behaviour - walk away.  Stand up for yourself and your values.  If you compromise right from the start you are setting yourself up for more problems later on.

· State your terms clearly in writing - so if they start to muck you around at least you've got some recourse should things turn nasty - tell them what their responsibilities as a client are.

· Make it clear that all your clients are happy with your terms as a rule, and remind them that it is actually OK for them to bring their concerns to your attention, because you pride yourself in delivering quality.  So, it's actually in their interests to be honest and up front with you.

· Find out what their previous experiences of working with consultants or supplier has been like and if they have any concerns arising from this.  You will be able to address any concerns up front which they may have from previous experiences to help build the trust between you.

What has been your experience of dealing with toxic clients?  Did you do anything differently? What would you do if it happened to you? Discuss in the Forums!

Wendy Dashwood-Quick is an Executive Coach and founder of Resolution Coaching and The Ultrapreneur Academy.  She helps Small Business Owners and Executives overcome the problems that keep them awake at night.  She is the author of “Discover Yourself On the Yellow Brick Road – 7 Core Principles of Career Success” and “Ultrapreneurs Unplugged – What They Don’t Tell You About Building A Successful Micro Business”

Visit her website at http://www.resolutioncoaching.co.uk

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Managing Change

Businesses usually fail for one of three reasons:

Poor Leadership.

Poor Processes.

Poor Service.

But behind each of these reasons lies the same root cause.

People.

People typically resist change, especially if they have been working within a comfort zone - a zone that they have been in for some time.  If you or your employees do not accept the need for change and are unwilling to change any transformation project that you undertake is likely to fail.

In fact I’d almost guarantee that it will fail.

Unfortunately - most do fail, simply because the people are left out of the equation.

To bring people out of their comfort zones ( including you!) you must lower  inbuilt defence mechanisms by introducing gradual changes, using non threatening situations and most importantly bringing them with you.

For the majority of people when change is forced upon us we tend to rebel against it. We challenge it. We seek the security of the status quo.

If we feel that we are part of the force behind the change and we can understand the benefits of it we are much more likely to participate and accept it. 

Leadership

This is the first stage of the process. Before considering anything else you must be certain that the Leader(s) of the business are strong enough and competent enough to carry out the transformation. You must be honest and objective about this –even if the only leader in the business is you! 

If the Leader(s) of the business does not display the right attributes and do the right things there is almost nothing that will prevent absolute failure. If you don’t have the right Leader(s) in place – get some help / support. 

Changes should be explained to all employees, they should be involved in the process and in the discussions as much as possible / practical.

It is the Leaders responsibility to help them to see and understand both the need for change and the implications of failure.

The Leader(s) must also be seen to be involved not only in the theory –which employees will assume has been cobbled together behind a closed door - but also in the implementation.

Most importantly the Leader(s) must be able to display and communicate the vision honestly and convincingly. 

Culture Building

Only once you are happy that the correct Leadership is in place can you move on to the key component of successful business transformation - building a culture which accepts and even thrives on change.

Employees must learn to accept personal ownership for everything that they do, they must have the confidence to make decisions and they need to understand the benefits of building strong and trusted relationships with your customers.

This is the foundation stone of any change programme however large or small and it is where I always focus the majority of my time and energy.

With this in place - Process Change will follow naturally, and the employees will help you to drive those changes.

The Real World

Unfortunately the real world is not like the pictures painted in the books.  Issues can rarely be solved with a model or a buzzword.

In the real world, there will always be hurdles. I have never been in a situation where there have been no obstacles to change, whether the company employed two people or twenty thousand.

There may be organisational obstacles, technological constraints, poor culture, lack of resources - before you even get to the people.

The key to successfully implementing change is to be aware of the obstacles that you are likely to face and plan for them. You must prepare your Company and your people as far in advance of the change as is possible.

If it is possible to do so - changes should be implemented gradually; this allows you to minimize any negative morale issues and helps you to identify particular barriers and to change and deal with them,

So in Summary:

Leadership:  Ensure that the correct leadership is in place.  All Leaders must be involved, they must be seen to be involved and they must be seen to be supportive. They must be able to eloquently communicate the vision of change.

Communication: is essential. The backdrop to and consequences of change need to be clearly and concisely explained. 

Feedback opportunities must be introduced to allow employees to discuss fears / reservations and to give you the opportunity to hear and dispel the rumours which will circulate around the organisation before they become poisonous.

Employees must be involved as much as possible – this is will help them to feel as though the change is not being forcefully imposed upon them and to feel a part of the process.

Adequate time and effort must be put in to supporting the change required from the employees. Again if skilfully done this is neither time consuming or expensive. It is however the difference between success and failure.

Bringing about change is never easy – we can all be guilty from time to time of getting set in our ways, many of us fear change and the implications of change.

However no business can evolve or survive without change and when it is skilfully done the results can exceed even the most ambitious of expectations.

Carol Burns

Do you have any tips for managing change? Visit the Forums to share your experiences!

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Procrastinating? 3 Key Strategies for Getting On With It!

Motivated or Procrastinated?

Motivation, simply defined is the inner energy, thought or vision that makes humans act.

You do things for a purpose. And, when you are clear on that purpose, and like it, you act with such effort that gets a good result.

This usually makes you happy, and so more motivated to do more things. Upward the motivation spiral goes.

But sometimes it’s not like that. Sometimes humans sometimes just don’t do. When this happens, you might find yourself thinking too much, or feel bad about not doing stuff, or just can’t see yourself succeeding.

Motivation can turn into procrastination, and then feelings of stuck-ness or guilt emerge.

Kick Start Your Motivation!

At some time or another, I am imagining that everyone reading this has a list of things to do. Write one now, or get out the one you already have.

For some of you, this will be a detailed, and numbered, list. For others, it’s a vague feeling of knowing there is stuff that need doing, with short notes.

And the stuff can be mundane items like the tax return, book-keeping or more complex items like sorting out your marketing plan.

Women in business usually have domestic stuff on their list too – recycling, shopping, school run, that kind of thing.

Then there are the good stuff lists, which have items like phoning good friends, or doing the things in business that you really enjoy and find easy.

There are many theories about motivation and what gives us that special thing inside us that makes us do what’s on the list.

Maslow’s theory says that needs drive motivation. When we have a basic survival need, we eat, and take steps to protect ourselves. Most people in the western world don’t need to do that much though, so Maslow also says that there are ‘higher needs’ like education and self-fulfilment, that drive us.

And when we have these needs met, there is no motivation to do more. So, if you already have a good life, are very fulfilled, you may lack motivation to achieve.

But hang on, most motivated people I know are fulfilled and do loads, so there may be other reasons why we lack motivation.

Victor Vroom’s theory says that to be motivated, we need a balance of wanting to do the task, with enough belief that it is achievable.

And going back to those lists, some things may not be achievable right now, and putting them all together on one list, usually with timescales that are a bit challenging, may actually be de-motivating and cause you to give up. All those things in one place might just be adding to the problem.

So this leads us to the first key strategy for being more motivated:

1. Ruthless List Management (RLM)

However you do your life lists, be ruthless about what is on them. Take a long hard look at the things that need doing.  Ask yourself if every point is absolutely necessary and within your control. Categorise your list into must do, might do, and maybe if I have time.

Then look at your list. In the must do category, consider how balanced it is with mundane items and good stuff.

If your list is over-balanced with mundane stuff, and just by looking at it, it makes you miserable, no wonder you are having problems.

This is because humans are programmed towards good feelings, and if you have stuff on your list that you believe should be, or aught to be done, then this could be creating negative feelings, so you back away from it.

Hence the list becomes a burden that makes you feel bad because it’s there, and because you can’t get enough positive motivation to do it.

So, the second strategy is to:

2. Take Control

We all know that there are things we need to do that are mundane. However when your life list is full of these items, reconsider if they are really necessary.

Women in business have this habit of wanting everything to be perfect – they want to be superwoman. The most organised and successful business, tidiest house, perfect well fed and entertained children.

With each item, on your list, ask yourself if you want to do it, or if you believe you should or aught, to do it.

If the latter words, or something similar crops up, then ask yourself who says that you need to do these things.

An easy example of the type of things that can crop up are tidying a messy cupboard, or calling a long forgotten friend.

These type of things can be on your list because you believe you’d be a better person in some way, if you did them, but, by loading yourself with things you believe you aught to do, you can forget the things, and the people, that really matter.

Some things on your list might be things you imagine others would encourage you to do.

Business is full of people telling us what we should be doing – but is it all applicable to your business?

Who is in charge, after all?

So if you have things on your list that you believe you should do, give them the should or aught test, and if inside yourself you have a sense you don’t really want to do them, let them go.

Take control of what you believe is important to you, your business and your personal life.

With a bit of practice, this can be very liberating. Then you end up with a list of key things that you really believe need doing, because they are important to the maintenance of your life, or you really want to do them.

The next step is getting there:

3. Bring the future to now

Make some quiet time. Close your eyes, and have a sense of you doing the stuff you have decided is important.

Imagine you being motivated. Notice in the future one thing about yourself that is making you motivated: a feeling, a thought, whatever it is for you. Really focus on this. Everyone is different, so it could be a way of doing things, setting realistic timescales, or just a feeling of being in control.

See it, think it or feel it.

Once you have a sense of what it is that makes you motivated, bring it back with you, come all the way back to now with the thing that can make all the difference.

Open your eyes, and keep that difference within you as you do the things you want to do. And do them well!

Sue Roberts
Cognitive Hypnotherapist & NLP Life Coach
www.freedomfinders.co.uk

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A short guide to: Colour Psychology in business 

Do you find yourself constantly drawn to certain colours? Do you feel repelled by others?  Intrigued to know why? Read on….

RED: CONFIDENCE

This is the “marmite” colour during my colour analysis sessions – clients love it or hate it.  Wearing it can bring you the confidence that you may lack. 

It may also show the world that you feel super confident that day.  No wonder red lipstick has been in demand during times of economic downturn or hardship.  When the concentration camps were disbanded, red lipstick was the first thing female inmates requested in the start to rebuild their lives. 

However, it can come across as being aggressive – like you are “shouting”.  Whenever an Apprentice candidate wears red lipstick to the boardroom showdown I just know that there is a taxi outside with their name on it.

YELLOW: POWER

The hardest colour to wear and the least popular choice of my clients.  Is this the one that repels you? It is likely that you need to bring more of this into your life.  Dressing head to toe in yellow would be downright scary but it works well as part of a print. 

It also can be utilised as a colour for a coat or handbag.  It’s logical that small amounts of “power” can be beneficial but who would have thought that the colour of sunshine and daffodils could send nervous types into frenzy?   Perhaps one for dentists to avoid too.

GREEN: EMPATHY

Linked to the emotions and most often used in treatment rooms, holistic industries or beauty salons – anywhere whose objective is to calm and relax.  This will work well for coaches, councilors and nurses but not necessarily for Bank Managers or lawyers. 

Naturally empathetic people can come across as weak or too sensitive. Adding a touch of yellow can be a way to bring balance.  Use it as your secret weapon when required. 

BLUE: COMMUNICATION

Great for public speakers, teachers, trainers and presenters.  It is also the most common colour used for uniforms.  It brings with it implied trust worthiness and reliability – especially navy blue.  British Airways have favoured a navy uniform with a touch of red whereas Virgin Airways have gone for the reverse. 

What core values do you associate with each? Which do you prefer? Which would you say is the most successful?  

PURPLE: ENLIGHTENMENT

Often associated with Royalty, Religious leaders or Mystics.  It can be a sign of an individual nature or free-spirit (hence the book “When I grow old I shall wear purple”). It can also come across as “eccentric” so this is a colour to be used with care in any business setting that requires conformity.   It is great choice for creative professions.

We select colours not only for our clothing and interiors but also our marketing literature.  What colours have you chosen? 

Katherine Blyth
Katherine B Image & Style  www.katherineb.com

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Coffee Machine Coaching

Coaching is recognised as a highly effective method of creating change in individuals for both personal and corporate results.

The growth in the number of organisations providing coach training and qualifications has been explosive in recent years as organisations realise the impact of these tools over more conventional training courses.

Professional coaches are often externally sourced, and there is an increasing trend for companies to utilise their own employees as coaches, so where are they being trained and how are they gaining experience?

Not everyone has the time to attend a coaching programme and those that do need to build a reputation through experience. We were speaking to a senior learning and development manager recently and he was concerned at the number of coaches who return from coaching programmes and want to immediately be ‘given’ clients.

Their excitement and desire to help is commendable but credibility is invariably an issue.

Large companies sometimes try to fit coaching into a highly structured programme, like organizing a formal training matrix. Some companies apply this same kind of rigidity to the process of coaching and fail to get results.

The best time to coach is when it is needed, by a person you respect and feel comfortable with.

Here’s a solution –

Reframe the way you think about coaching:

If you think of coaching as a ‘formal session between coach and coachee’ with a designated time limit, think again. If you genuinely want to help people move forward then develop a ‘coaching way of being’. You will be surprised at the opportunities which present themselves. Stay focused and the energy behind your coaching skills will gather momentum whatever the time or place.

 
Build a reputation.

Good project managers are invited to lead projects, people who demonstrate great leadership skills become leaders, people who are great speakers take part in corporate presentations and so on. The secret to being a great coach is to build yourself a reputation by demonstrating great coaching in the work place. Over time you will be sought out for your abilities to help people move forward.

Use your integrity.

There are plenty of opportunities to coach in the workplace. A step by step measured approach will enable you to identify appropriate opportunities, sense the appropriateness of what you want to do and deliver effectively without the person even realising they have been coached. This way you will develop a reputation as someone who listens and asks great questions. People will find themselves gravitating towards you.

In summary – develop the Art of Coffee Machine Coaching

Step 1 – Identify with the qualities of a coach –

· good listener
· genuinely interested in helping people to overcome issues and achieve outcomes
· accept that people have all the personal resources they need to solve their own issues
· able to ask the one targeted question which will create a shift in thinking
· able to walk away without people even knowing they have just been coached the courtesy to ask if someone needs help with a particular issue before you offer it

Step 2 – Go about your daily work with your ears open and choose your moment well.

Remember to build rapport and pace the person elegantly.
Here are some examples of coffee machine coaching (CMC) in action –

Example 1
Sue – I really don’t understand Dennis – every time I ask him about the layout for the new marketing brochure he goes off on one about how we need to make sure that all our materials are aligned.

CMC – I know what you mean but isn’t it great that he can think so strategically?
Without knowing it Sue’s mind has been focused on Dennis’s strengths and at an unconscious level she will take this on board when next communicating with him.

Example 2
Jen – Tom really isn’t interested in my project.
CMC – Oh what makes you say that?
Jen – I went in to update him on Wednesday morning and he really wasn’t listening. I could have been talking about flying to the moon for all he cared.
CMC – Any idea what was in his diary for Wednesday?
Jen – Yes, he was attending the board meeting where they are going to discuss …………. Oh no! No wonder he was preoccupied. I must ask him how it went.

It is very easy for people to become so wrapped up in their own agenda that they forget about other people’s. Jen has fallen into this trap and put a meaning on Tom’s behaviour which is completely untrue. Simple questioning allows the CMC to open Jen’s mind to other possibilities.

Have fun with coffee machine coaching – its called being human!
Pat Hutchinson
Quadrant 1 International
www.quadrant1.com